Prelude: Meet Quozimodo

Your Assistant EiC, Quozimodo
photo: Alonzo Riley

'Quoz' is that which is strangely incongruous, dimensions away from any bell curve, and full of complexity. I am the Gizzard of the Land of Quoz. I devour, digest, and defecate all things quozy. I see visions and hear sounds. Sometimes it freaks me out and I attempt to root myself in THE HARD SCIENCES. I am (sometimes) the master of routine and discipline. That is my role, to keep the (always) mad doctor (Dr. KiKi) in line.

The gravities of micro and macrobiology, color, mental illness, language, haiku, belly button lore, plant collecting, skepticism, justice, and glitter all tug at me.

We seek after these things.

This is your brain on ART!

Help me! 

      I’m addicted to arts and crafts. 

It happened again. I had an entire day ahead of me wherein I could use my vast array of knowledge to turn the hearts of man toward REVOLUTION! What did I do instead? 

That’s right. I covered my house in about a thousand paper snowflakes.

I believe that for some of us art becomes a bit of a neurosis. I compulsively create so I don’t have to “feel feelings”, but is that really a bad thing? I can think of many more destructive vices. Gambling, pyromania, totalitarianism.... but we aren't children anymore. We can’t play around with those things. 

Sure, painting pretty pictures or making things with paper mâché may sound like a convenient way to sedate a psychopath, but I believe it is the essence of building a finely tuned mental machine. 

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time” - Thomas Merton

That is probably the most accurate definition of art I have ever heard. I couldn't have said it better myself. I think I should have. From now on, I said that. That is a quote by me, Ruby the Wretched...

{Note from the Editor: The above mentioned quote will be noted in the general literary and legal

world as it was originally.  Let us not have copyright issues and simply humor Ruby's wretched delusions of grandeur).

Upon further probing I began to speculate that I could use art therapy to my nefarious advantage; that I could mold the grey matter of my unsuspecting victims and change their silly notions of “morality.” Alas I am dreadfully mistaken. Art is actually GOOD for the brain.

I was aghast to discover that it’s just plain science. “[Art] introduces the brain to diverse cognitive skills that help us unravel intricate problems,” an article by Gran Ekhart suggests

Hmm. How could being intuitive benefit Ruby the Wretched? Senior Ekhart goes on to say; “Art, in thought and through the creative processes, activates the imaginative and creative side, the spatial and intuitive side of our brain. Art jumps over the process of linear and logical thinking. It trains the brain to shift into thinking differently, of broaching old problems in new ways”

Because I am so VERY good at drawing conclusions, I realized this can only mean one thing: this is the secret ingredient for teaching myself to read minds.  

Just imagine, my biscuits, once I am clairvoyant I will be UNSTOPPABLE!

*Ahem* Pardon me. 

If you too want to fine tune your cerebral wrecking ball I would suggest these art therapy exercises; 

1.Get Your Feet Wet: Here is an exercise from the brilliant Lucia Capacchione. It’s a good jumping-off point if you’re not quite sure what the point is
http://www.healthy.net/creativejournal/feelnow.htm

2. DEFACE an Existing Image: Feeling some pent up anger? Don’t exact bloody revenge (leave that to us mad scientists- you’re just not ready). Destroy something in a therapeutic (and non-felonious) way; select a pretty face from a magazine and graffiti it. Rip a few pages out of a 50 cent thrift store book and alter them to match your current level of emotional dysfunction. The sky is limit. 

Remember what our friend Pablo Picasso said; 

“good artists copy, great artists steal.”

3. Scribble Time: Remember when you were a little kid and you really, really wanted to draw on the walls, but you knew your mom would kill you? It’s time to cuddle that child like a kitten. Tape up some paper (I’m poor so I’ve cut up and used paper grocery bags) and Scribble to your Hearts Content. Trust me, scribbling is the most amazing thing. You may not know it yet but your heart definitely desires this. Afterward take a step back and look at the colors you used, then refer to this; 

  

Welp, there you go. This will get you started. After you’ve realized how RIGHT I am, I will be back with more exercises. Also, if you are particularly lucky I will tell you about the time I burned down a Circus and liberated a lion. It’s a great story...

Art on my friends. 

Love, Ruby the WRETCHED

Read At Your Own Risk

The Doctor

Whoa! Did you feel that?!
This blog just got even more awesome.  While continuing to enjoy the invaluable wisdom of previous posts, you will begin to notice a twist. Twist? An entanglement with eccentricity, an inkling for thinking out of the cube, and a fresh breeze of weirdness. After all, being true to the Muse often means a grope in the darkness, a risky move that scares the bejeebers out of you, or accepting the likelihood that you will be labeled 'weird.'  Thank your lucky star if that should happen, because 'standard' and 'ordinary' do not make for great (or even enjoyable) works of art. I can hardly stand to look at a painting if the painter wasn't at least half crazy.

Well, I might as well introduce myself. Everyone thinks my name is Lindsey. Y'all are about to hear the truth. Lindsey is an alias to veil my true identity. Are you sitting down?

No, I'm not Batman. Sorry.

My name is Dr. (Ki)2. I bring with me a few particularly talented individuals. Together, we're a sort of Superhero Blog Squad. I'll let them introduce themselves, because I sure don't know how to describe their, er, unique attributes. We plan to support the creative community, because it is the lifeblood that keeps passion in our souls, elevates emotions and aspirations, and lifts us out of our comatose state of sleepwalking through life, confusing reality and Facebook while worrying about jobs and laundry. Creativity lifts us to a higher plane of thought and contemplation- to a place we can really learn something about ourselves, expand our worldviews and reevaluate our values.

Change.
 Change is scary.
  Change is absolutely necessary for growth.
    Change helps sensitize the artist to the creative impulse.
      The creative impulse, inspiration, light bulb above head, the Muse... The world of the artist has no map.
        Impulse and intuition are essential, but must be balanced by context, perspective, and motivation. All is naught if the fire of desire to Make isn't blazing, and sometimes we all need a little help fanning the flames. That's why I'm here. As your Doctor, I will regularly prescribe a task intended to light you up and enhance the creative process.

Today's Prescription:  LAUGH.
We're talking deep-belly, uncontrollable, unstoppable laughter. Laugh until you cry. You may then commence weeping if you're the swift mood-shift type. Equilibrium and poise have plenty of merit, but sometimes you need a swift rush of chemicals in the head; such as an adrenaline rush, the hot blush at the smile of your crush, and the reckless abandon of unbridled laughter. It's like a flood of water breaking through the dam of tension, worry, and stress -all of which directly counteract the creative act.

What makes you laugh? Share in the comments section below, because everybody deserves a good laugh. It changes your perspective from gloom cloud to rainbow, or from ghetto to palace, or whatever.
Every artist has their toolbox, and if yours doesn't have a sense of humor in it, I urge you to obtain one. How?
I don't know! I find most things amusing, at least, and a great many to be absolutely hilarious.
I recommend purposefully seeking out things/people/activities which have been known to squeeze a chuckle out of you. Make them regular events in your life. Yes, you do have time. We are talking about your artistic soul, here! Without a sense of humor, you are crippled.

Here is a glimpse at what you have to look forward to:

• There will be more on the Artist's Toolbox.
• There will be prescriptions for your creative health.
• It is possible that I may reveal my superpower; but don't get your hopes up.
• Caution: There is significant risk of exposure to absurdity and whimsy directly followed by solemnity or grim determination.
• There will most definitely be local artists -indie and legit- of many flavors and mediums and styles.

There are artists of so many varieties making mindbogglingly magnificent creations all over the place. We plan on tracking them down and publicly exposing their brilliance. If you know someone whose artwork isn't receiving the celebration it deserves, hit us up. You can name-drop in a comment or contact us via email.

      Take 2 bouts of raucous laughter and call me in the morning.
~Dr. (Ki)2
brainfingers@gmail.com
Chapter One and Book-It!

Attention America. This is Ruby the Wretched...

Ruby the Wretched, Attorney-at-Law, Evil Genius, Bloggernaut

  So, let me tell you a little story.

Not long ago, on a frisky sort of evening, I was frosting the cupcakes and thinking about cubes. I was contacted by one, Dr. (Ki)2. I have a history with this woman. I am her legal representation and am immensely valuable to her. She is also privy to some of my more nefarious transgressions...

(She signed the non-disclosure agreement so feel free to ask as many questions as you’d like; she won’t be able to answer them).

Nevertheless, I believe in the Doctor’s cause; to perpetuate the culture of strangeness that is so fertile to creativity. To promote rebelliousness in the name of true art. In our long, professional relationship, the Doctor and I have stayed awake many a night, wisely stroking our imaginary beards (mindbeards) and contemplating how we can possibly make the world we live in more beautiful and ultimately stranger. 

So when the good Dr. K asked me to join her super-force of scribes, I graciously accepted. This is quite the gesture coming from me. You see, what you must understand about me is that I am a wretched girl (Ruby the Wretched, you see?).

  

The truth is that I am vile and appalling. Depraved and despicable. I have a tendency to be MEAN.  Although it is normally my aim is to twist logic, contort the truth, trump reason, and generally mislead the masses; I am here to save you. Your lives are very dull and boring. The world has become a frightful place, and not just because I set free an army of murderous possums.* No, it is frightful because people are becoming complacent. If I am going to take over the world in one weekend, I’m going to need y’all to have some fight in you. 

{*For legal reasons I must state that I have no recollection of mentioning murderous possums. WHAT POSSUMS?*}

Just so you know that I will always keep you on the edge of your seats, I’m going to list a few of my personal inspirations. I will offer no explanations at the current time, but all will become clear (or at least righteously defended) in time: 

• The late, great Jean-Micheal Basquiat
• American poet, Charles Bukowski
• Spectacular train wreck; Miley Ray Cyrus, born Destiny Hope Cyrus
• Gonzo journalist, Hunter S. Thompson
• Eccentric Pop Artist and Philosopher, Andy Warhol
• America’s Sweetheart, Taylor Swift
• Extremely Twisted Individual, Salvador Dali
• Author and Man of Inspiring Brainfingers, Kurt Vonnegut
• Batman

If any of this seems incongruous feel free to leave me a comment, and I will feel free to laugh diabolically at it. 

   I may be a super-villain and a criminal mastermind, but I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I am very  interesting and impressive. I have multiple degrees and PhDs from UoF (University of Falsehood), so I definitely know  what I’m talking about. You can trust me. 

Anyway, for the time being I am here to delight and appall you with my insightful wit and various levels of dangerous psychosis. You are so very fortunate my Biscuits, so very fortunate...

It's Been a While

Hello all! Erika B here. Just giving you an update as to the recent goings on here at Chapter One and Book-it!.

Our first issue of Book-it! magazine is coming out soon, but how soon is dependent on when we fill our advertising space. On that note, we're looking for sales people! If you're looking for a little extra money, shoot Sean an email at chapteronebookit@outlook.com

As for the rest of the store? We're planning a series of fundraising events and competitions. These include (but are not limited to):

a Dance Off (October 19th - location to be announced)
Battles of the Bands (dates and locations to be announced)
Film Competitions (middle of January)
(art) Character/Creature Competitions (every other month starting in October)
and Writing Competitions (every other month starting in November)

Keep an eye out for these and many more on our Facebook site.

"Why fundraisers?" You may ask. We could go the usual route and go get a couple small loans and a million government grants, it's logical, responsible, and makes sense. Right? Well, here at Chapter One, we believe in being self-made. If we owe anyone, we want to owe you. Yeah, we're probably crazy for not wanting to take out some massive business loans or seeking out investors, so I'm going to make a confession... we are crazy. If you don't like doing business with crazy people, now's the time to bail! But if you believe in what we've got going on, we want you on our team.

On our website is a list of positions we're looking to fill. We're looking for volunteers that want to see this succeed. I know, another crazy thing, right? Looking for volunteers instead of hiring people. But let me put it this way. The more people we have on our team the faster we make money. The faster we make money, the sooner our volunteers get paid. To put it in perspective, we're not planning on letting this thing fall through the cracks. Come hell and high water, we're getting this baby off the ground and flying. So, if you're on our team, if you make this thing a success, you'll have a career with us, long term, and with more than a few opportunities to move up. If you're with us as a volunteer, you're with us for the long haul and we intend to take care of you.

For our awesome followers and supporters, right now, we owe you a magazine, a store, and some awesome content. Hold us to it. Send us emails demanding updates, pester us. We know you're watching and we like it that way. Keep your eyes peeled for more updates, and please keep us in your prayers. We're doing this for you.

Sincerely,
Erika B.
CEO Chapter One
http://www.chapteronebookit.com/
https://www.facebook.com/ChapterOneBookIt